My Hero
by hybrid-kidd
Summary: “I had to be the hero; I had to pull the coding patient from the clutches of death.” It's just another day of saving patients right? Oneshot.


**Title:** My Hero  
**Author:** hybrid-kidd  
**Warnings:** Angst, character death, bad language.  
**Notes:** Short one-shot songfic.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Scrubs, and now shut up or I'll send Ted after you. No ownage of the song either, it belongs to Chad Kroeger.

It's angsty, forgive me. I'm just like Jordan really, I'm dead inside.

**My Hero**

_I'm so high, I can hear heaven,  
I'm so high, I can hear heaven,  
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me._

I breathed a sigh of relief as I dropped the defibrillator paddles back on the crash cart and smiled at Carla who was busy applying pressure to the gunshot wounds.

"We got him back." I said, softly. I was afraid to overstate the words, afraid that the patient would start relapsing again. I glanced at Carla and then at the deep wounds on the chest.

"Hey Lonnie! I really need you to get this patient to surgery now, three gunshot wounds. Two to the chest and one to the stomach, he's bleeding out."

I frowned as Lonnie just stood looking at me expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for Tinkerbell? A cookie? Go, go!" I snapped as Carla gave me a glare.

Lonnie gave a loud sigh before he placed the clear bag of IV fluid onto the patient's chest and wheeled the gurney out of the doors.

"He'll be fine. He's strong you know that." Carla whispered, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I know." I replied, picking the patient's chart up from the crash cart where I had carelessly thrown it earlier and glanced at the name scribbled down in my nervous, messy handwriting.

**_Dr. Percival Cox.  
_**

**_  
_**_And they say that a hero could save us,  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.  
_

I threaded my hands through my messy and tousled hair, as the silence around me became unbearable. I hated standing and waiting, feeling helpless. I shouldn't even be stood outside the OR window, peering in, watching my best friend operate on my idol. The man I was in love in and didn't have the balls to tell…I gave a heavy sigh, as my pager went off. I had to rescue someone now. I had to be the hero; I had to pull the coding patient from the clutches of death.

"Clear!" I yelled, gritting my teeth as the patient's body collided with the paddles, causing it to arch and fall back onto the gurney.

I vaguely remembered yelling at Elliot at the side of me, and I have to admit it is slightly weird shouting at one of your best friends in your 'Doctor Voice'. I dropped the paddles back onto the crash cart and turned to face her.

"Dr. Reid, run down to the blood bank, A positive now!" I screamed as she frowned, disappearing from the room as I growled, "God, Jemma, your doing it wrong, just go!" before shoving Keith out of the way and taking over chest compressions.

I didn't really care when he rolled his eyes and stood out of my way. He just folded his arms, watching and maybe possibly learning from me.

"C'mon dammit!" I growled, withdrawing my hands from his chest, pushing his head up further to open the airway fully, I blew two quick breaths into his mouth before resuming chest compressions.

"Don't die, goddammit!" I cursed, wiping the sweat from my forehead before I grabbed the defibrillator paddles and tried one more time, gritting my teeth and feeling the sweat dripping down my face, I placed the paddles on the patient's chest and felt the vibrations myself. I almost became as one with the patient, I felt his pain and closed my eyes. Just as all hope was lost, a small beep rang through my ears. My head whipped up to look at the heart monitor and sure enough, a slow, steady heartbeat was present.

"Normal rhythm." Carla announced, her calm voice finally breaking the tension within the room.

I breathed a sigh of relief, before giving her a small smile and peeling off my gloves.

_Someone told me that love would all save us._

_  
_I think Turk told me that, he's always been a big believer in faith; he even wears those prayer beads when he operates on someone.

I found myself back outside the OR peering inside the window, with my hand on the glass. Thoughts began running through my head as I tried to make sense of the situation. _Two to the chest and one to the stomach…_ I knew immediately the potential sustainable injuries. Punctured lung, heart damage, internal bleeding, shattered clavicle or scapula… the three years I'd spent in Sacred Heart melted away, leaving me with my memories of memorising all those injuries in med school…

"Bambi? What are you doing here?"

I didn't respond to her question but continued watching Turk. I examined his movements carefully, I could clearly see the sweat forming on his forehead and his eyes filled with utter concentration, as he clutched the scalpel with a steady hand. I caught sight of the prayer beads around his neck, just hidden by his green scrubs. They're red…just like the blood decorating the front of his scrubs.

"Bambi! Your pager!"

Carla's voice is a distant blur and slowly fades into silence as I quickly pull my pager from the top of my pants and scan the message.

_But how can that be, look what love gave us,  
A world full of killing, n' blood spilling,  
that world never came._

_  
_This time it's a knife victim, attacked by some escaped mental patient. She looked about eighteen and probably has her whole life ahead of her, judging by her looks she was probably popular in school, cheerleader and prom queen, all the usual clichés.  
I threw down the chart and immediately placed two fingers on her slashed and bloody neck. There was a faint dull pulse.

"Run down to the OR and get a room prepped stat! This patient is going to need surgery immediately,

"She needs a blood transfusion now!" I yelled at one of the interns that had followed me into the room. I cursed under my breath before the nurse grabbed hold of one end of the gurney and began pulling it out of the door. Snapping myself from my daydream, I grabbed the other end of the gurney, driving it through the doors of the OR…

_And they say that a hero could save us,  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait._

_  
_"Bambi?" Carla stood in front of me again, coaxing me out of my thoughts. I had resumed my place outside the OR, slouched uncomfortably in one of the stiff chairs, holding a cold cup of coffee. My shift had just ended and the hospital had slowly returned to its orderly manner.

"He's out of surgery, in room 241. I just checked his stats, he's fine."

Carla didn't look that great either, her bright pink scrubs appeared to have faded in the sterile hospital light, her hair was all mussed and there was a small smudge of black mascara under her cheek.

"Go and sleep in the on-call room. It'll do you some good…" she whispered, her voice cracking slightly as she put a warm hand on my shoulder. I slowly nodded my head, processing the information before disappearing into the on-call room to attempt to sleep.

_Now that the world isn't ending,  
it's love that I'm sending to you,  
it isn't the love of a hero,  
and that's why I fear it won't do._

_  
_"Bambi? Wake up! Wake up now!"

I opened my eyes and glanced around the room confused before finally focusing on Carla, she looked extremely distressed with tears slipping down her tanned cheeks.

"He's coding!"

No, no, no. I shook my head as I ripped the covers from my body; I dodged past Carla and sprinted towards that room to prove that it wasn't true.

"No, no, no, no!" I screamed as I threw open the door, letting the shrill wail of the heart monitor fill my ears like some sort of funeral hymn. I hurried over to the bedside and taking a deep breath, I gritted my teeth and folded my hands on top of my idol's chest, beginning to do chest compressions.

"Down for five minutes…" Carla's strained but calm voice filtered through the wailing.

"For the love of god, where is that fucking crash cart?" I snarled, gritting my teeth, pushing harder on my mentor's chest.

"Goddamn, breath Perry! For fucks sake! I am not giving up on you ever, now c'mon!"

"Bambi." Carla yelled, pulling my hands away from his chest and handing me the charged defibrillator paddles.

"Clear!" I yelled, pushing the defibrillator paddles onto the bare chest, and watched a jolt bring down the man who I'd always viewed as being invincible. The heart monitor continued in its almost monotone voice.

"C'mon Perry. Come on!" I yelled, before trying yet again.

Carla looked up with sorrowful, honey eyes. "Down for fifteen…"

I quickly wiped the sweat that was forming on my forehead after charging the paddles again and forcing them onto the lifeless man.

"No, no, no! You can't give up! Fucking breathe!" I snarled, my voice breaking as the heart monitor showed no improvement.

"Call it, Bambi."

"No, I am not giving up on him!"

"_Doctor Dorian_, he's been down for _twenty_ minutes. Now call it!" she yelled, her eyes filling with tears as I growled, flinging the defibrillator paddles back onto the crash cart.

"Time of death 0122." I whispered before I tore off my gloves and upturned the crash cart, letting out a wounded scream.

I guess you can't always be a hero.

**Fin.**


End file.
